At St Paul’s I apologise when I have made a poor choice. ‘Stop, Think, then Choose what to do.’

Just about everyone has said or done something that hurts another person’s feelings. Sometimes you might hurt someone without meaning to. Or you say or do something unkind and regret it later.

When you realise you’ve broken someone’s trust in you or hurt them with your words or actions, it’s a good idea to apologise.

It can be hard to admit when you’ve done something you’re not proud of — even if you didn’t mean to do it. It can seem easier to act like it didn’t happen, say it wasn’t your fault, or hope the other person didn't notice or forgot about it. But it’s better to offer an apology. 

Apologies can help you build and keep good friendships. When you say, "I'm sorry" (and really mean it), you can repair trust. Saying you're sorry is more than just words. You're showing that you respect the other person’s feelings. You value their friendship.

Apologising is a chance for you to be honest, humble, and act with integrity. It lets you find out that your words and actions can also have a positive effect on others — and on you.

We encourage parents and caregivers to work alongside us to teach children how to apologise. A good apology focuses on what you did, not on the other person’s reaction. When you apologise, it’s not a rehash of what happened. You can keep it simple. For example, you can:

• Stop and think about a poor choice you have made.
• Choose to follow the steps below to apologise for your choice.
• Tell the person you're sorry for what you did, even if it wasn’t on purpose.
• Own what you did without trying to explain it away. It takes away from an apology if you follow up with an excuse or explanation for why you did what you did.
• Let them know you regret it. Say you know it affected them and you'll try to do better in future.